The Fictional Birth Chart of Hank Hill

Introduction

Once while taking a nostalgic dive back to simpler times, I was rewatching an animated  classic by the talented Mike Judge who over the years has given us several bangers.  While Judge is notably known for his evolutionary work on Beavis and Butthead, Judge also created another masterpiece with a revival that I am oh so anxiously awaiting.  Like any good writer, Mike Judge took his past experiences from childhood and beyond and manifested something truly memorable and special.  Placed in the fictional Texas town of Arlen, Mike Judge takes us into a mundane, yet hilarious look into simple small town living. 

The Hill Family

 King of the Hill is an animated cult classic that is led by the straight-arrow, bible thumping protagonist, Hank Hill. Hank is a simple man, who appreciates things that are predictable and verifiable.  Hank is an ordinary propane salesman that hypes his humble, service-oriented job up as if he were a cosmic bounty hunter that traverses the galaxy picking off intergalactic mercenaries.  Mike Judge concocted an interesting blend of the stringent ESTJ archetype who is heavily rules driven, and struggles with all that is mystical; plus someone who is often oblivious, and shows strong traits of being on the Autism Spectrum.

When you think of someone on the spectrum, the blatant and closeminded ESTJ might be the last of Jung’s 16 types that would fit that criteria. Once you apply some critical thinking, it actually makes perfect sense.  One trait of autistic folks is often having a special interest.  Hank is obsessed with lawn care, propane, and propane accessories.  Hank talks about these subjects non-stop with an almost feverious obsession, sometimes aggravating his friends and family to no end.  Another concept that people with ASD often struggle with is a frictional relationship with intimacy and sex.  Hank Hill struggles to show affection to his wife, Peggy.  Hank’s often scantily clad niece, Luanne often roamed around the Hill residence embracing her curvaceous female body, creating many awkward, yet hilarious moments.  Rigidity is another trait that both Hank and autistics share.  Hank is quite uncomfortable with things that are out of his control.  This can be something as simple as the roll of toilet paper being on the dispensary in a less-than-desirable position. We can also look at Hank’s son, Bobby dancing around or dabbling with a tarot deck or perfecting his comedy routine.

One episode stood out in particular, as I recaptured moments from my adolescence.  The tenth episode of season five, entitled Yankee Hankee, our flat-topped hero has the startling revelation that he was born in… New York City.  The proud native Texan was dumbfounded and spends the first half of the episode searching for the holy grail to an Astrologer, his birth certificate.  Hank Rutherford Hill was born on April 15th, 1953 in New York, New York at 3:07 a.m.  Compulsively, I grabbed my laptop and generated his natal chart.  Of course, Mike Judge didn’t empathize how the planets aligned when creating our cartoon Texan, but I couldn’t resist exploring what the stars have to say for the King of the Hill.

Hank finds out he was born in New York City

The Sun of Hank Hill

With a glimmer in my eye after stumbling upon fictional birth information, I scoured the perceived Birth Chart of our simple star of the show, and not so surprisingly, I saw mixed results.  For someone as rigid as our beloved propane salesman, I gave Hank a huge Capricorn stellium in the 6th house. Throughout fiction, we often appreciate characters that are written with the intention of showing depth and complexity. Hank Hill is truly an exception here. Included in the Capricorn Stellium, it seemed quite fitting to give  Hank his Sun here as well.  Hank is a no-nonsense type of guy.  He doesn't understand, nor tolerate anything that is outside of his belief system.  One thing you can say about the Texan protagonist, is that he is hard-working, grounded, and practical, and I believe a Sun in Capricorn in the 6th House sums this up well.  It’s amazing that a show about a main character that goes to work, comes home, and mows his lawn was as successful as it is.  

The Moon of Hank Hill

Yes, I had to include Hank’s Moon as a part of this huge rolling stellium as well. You might be thinking that this is just a cop out putting all of Mr Hill’s placements in one big bundle.  So you know, there are plenty of people out there that have a bundle pattern in their natal chart such as Hank Hill.  Folks who have a bundle chart are often specifically directed and focused on the areas that the planets reside, often making them stubborn and pigheaded, and unable to look at life through a different lens.  I feel that Hank Hill is no different, I mean, the man loves his job. Doing simplistic, Earth based things such as mowing his lawn, carpentry, and selling natural gas and natural gas accessories makes Ol’ Top quite happy and satisfied.   Having a Moon in Capricorn in the 6th House mimics these behaviors to a tee in my opinion.  As aforementioned, Hank struggles with the emotional side of life, and loathes disruptions in his routine. Keeping things smooth and predictable makes Hank Hill a happy man. 

The fictional birth chart of Hank Hill

The Ascendant of Hank Hill

Some might be surprised that I pictured Hank Hill as a Cancer Rising, but hear me out.  Some themes that come to mind with Cancer is someone being hyper-emotional, caring, and has a high regard for personal security and safety.  While those things are true about Cancer, people with the crustation for a rising sign often are reluctant to show their softer side, especially if they’re men. When confronted with unpleasant scenarios, you can often find Cancer Risings tucking away in their theoretical shells. Cancer is of course associated with the Moon, and represents home and personal safety.  When Hank feels threatened, he is quite vocal about it, even if the only emotion Hank transmutes is often anger. 

People are often quick to discuss the Ascendant, yet fail to recognize the significance of the other angles, which in my book, are on equal standing with the Rising Sign. Pulling a 180 on Hank Hill’s chart, we see a Capricorn descendant. Hank isn’t looking for romance, he wants consistency and partnership. Not to mention Hank doesn’t exactly fit the bill for a dreamy-eyed Prince Charming.  Hank also had a turbulent upbringing with a father that is a war hero and killed ‘fitty men’ a Scorpio IC can show the toxicity of a troubled childhood and being fathered by a man with serious, yet hilarious PTSD.  Let’s not forget to mention a Taurus MC. I mean, Hank is a manager at a propane establishment after all!

The Mercury of Hank Hill

Mercury, in all honesty, had me on the fence when assigning a particular placement for Hank Hill.  From watching King of the Hill, it’s obvious that Hank Hill is a straight shooter.  However, rather than dipping Mercury in Capricorn in the 6th House, I went ahead and placed the Trickster in the 5th House Retrograde style. Hank is all business, and speaks with a direct, matter-of-fact fashion. However Hank has a lot of anxiety when it comes to spontaneity and romance, which of course are all 5th house elements. Making Mercury Retrograde for Hill seemed appropriate seeing that this area of communication doesn’t come easy.  Mercury is a fidgety, energetic sign, and having it in cold hard Capricorn transiting in a reverse direction displays Hank’s reluctance to be more outgoing and forthcoming. Though someone having the cusp of the 5th House in Sagittarius might demonstrate someone with a lot of fervor and passion, I feel Mercury being placed in Capricorn and being in Retrograde mutes the grandiosity that the 5th House shows when unadulterated. 

Hank and Cotton Hill

The Venus of Hank Hill

Believe it or not, I went into this project with what I deem as a perfect Venus placement for Hank Hill.  It’s easy to see that Hank isn’t exactly an exemplary example of the Venusian Archetype, yet we all have Venus somewhere, including Hank.  Yes, I did include Venus in Hank’s huge rolling stellium in Capricorn in the 6th, but Hank shows love and affection in a practical manner.  One episode that really struck a chord with me was when Hank uncharacteristically left a trail of rose petals for his wife Peggy to follow.  Peggy must have had high expectations for something romantic and exciting, but ol’ Hank, disappointedly led her to a his/her bathroom sink combo that he gleefully installed.  Hank Hill is a practical man after all, so he creates and expresses beauty with his hands in a boring, predictable, rugged manner.  Peggy complained of shavings from Hank’s face littering the sink, so Hank thought of a pragmatic approach to solve this conundrum.  That’s about as amorous as Hank Hill will ever get!

The Mars of Hank Hill

It’s rare to see the protagonist of King of the Hill show much emotion, that is besides anger of course. Numerous hysterical moments from King of the Hill have come from Hank losing his temper and going off on various characters throughout the show’s history.  There was a time even when a character such as Hank Hill was young and more carefree.  In one episode, Hank’s friends and family were celebrating the accolades of Hank’s high school football career.  Watching old projector footage at the Gribble’s residence, Hank was trying to disguise something that he felt was dark in his past.  

Hank persisted on the gridiron and got his team to the state finals, only to succumb to an injury, costing the Arlen Longhorns to lose the big game.  Back to the archives that Hank precariously hid away for so long showed a different side to the flat-topped Texan.  After scoring a touchdown, Hank could be seen celebrating and show-boating in the infield.  Hank attributes his injury in the state finals  to God punishing Hank for his pride and arrogance.  Hank vowed to never galivant again, as he saw it as sinful and foolish.  From that day, Hank muted his enthusiasm and swore to live a quant, and humble life of a curmudgeon

The Jupiter of Hank Hill

Hank Hill is not a man to get over-excited.  Besides the occasional anger outburst, Hank keeps and even keel. So, I had to include Hank’s Jupiter in his giant rolling stellium that expands throughout his 6th House and Capricorn.  Having Jupiter im Capricorn myself, I can relate to Hank in certain ways, especially when it comes to keeping my zeal contained.  Jupiter is also about luck and manifestation, and there doesn’t seem to be a huge element of those concepts when gregarious Jupiter is placed in austere Capricorn.  As aforementioned,  Hank is a no-nonsense type of guy, and there are no frills with him.  Hank would cringe at such an idea of manifesting your destiny. To someone such as Hank Hill, the only way to reach your goals is rolling up your sleeves and scraping tooth and nail to meet them yourself.  Jupiter also expands what it touches, and Hank is one hell of a craftsman. Hank is adept in carpentry and working with his hands which all fall in the arena of the 6th House.  

The Saturn of Hank Hill

  It made sense to me to give Hank an abundance of Capricorn energy, now it's time to discuss Capricorn’s ruler– Saturn.  Saturn has often been seen as a paternal figure throughout Astrology. Often Saturn represents the father, or the grandfather in a literal sense.  Childhood trauma is no laughing matter, but when it comes to King of the Hill, there may be an exception to the rule.  Cotton Hill, Hank Hill’s father, was a decorated war hero.  Often gloating about killing ‘fitty men.’  Cotton earned a Purple Heart when he fell to Japanese machine gun fire, resulting in the loss of his shins in World War II.  Like many combat veterans at the time, untreated and unacknowledged PTSD ran rampant, and in turn,  affected generations to come.  Cotton Hill, though diminutive in size after losing a lot of height due to bullets reeking havoc on his legs, was a feisty and cantankerous old man.  Hank Hill had to grow up with Cotton and didn’t receive the love and guidance a father is expected to give. 

Cotton and G.H.

Hank grew up trying to earn the love and respect from his father, but it never happened. No matter what Hank did, it failed to live up to Cotton’s expectation. The relationship between Hank and Cotton was quite Saturnine in nature. This could be one reason for Hank’s lack of spontaneity and joy.  No matter what Hank did, or didn’t do, it was only met with cold, hard defiance and disappointment.  So Saturn is placed in Scorpio in the 4th House seeing that the 4th House can represent the “hidden parent.”  Though Cotton is Hank’s biological father, you probably could consider Cotton more of a sperm donor. With Hank growing up in such a frigid, loveless environment, I see this Saturn placement quite fitting as the ruler of Hank’s massive stellium in Capricorn.  

The Uranus of Hank Hill

It might be hard to imagine such a serious character such as Hank Hill from even having a Uranus in his chart, yet like everyone else, he must– no matter how fictional he might be!  For Hank, I place the eccentric Uranus in his 8th House in Pisces retrograde.  It’s not a natural tendency for Hank to expel such chaotic energy, so I made his 8th House intercept Pisces and the Uranus that haunts it.  Not only is Hank predictable and a bit bland, he seems to lack that spiritual, mystical side that society tries to nullify us from.  Sure, Hank may be a religious man, but society really pushes Christianity on us as a whole, though that paradigm is fading to the way-side.  For his spiritual side, Hank relies on the status-quo to tell him what to believe, and he gleefully takes it in without question.  

While Hank may be more than familiar with an interception in football, let's take a step back to clarify what an interception means in Astrology.  An interception refers to a House swallowing up a sign whole.  This wouldn’t apply to House systems such as Whole Sign, or Equal House systems.  However with more intricate quadrant House systems such as Placidus, this can be a common occurrence.  Whatever is in the intercepted sign, in Hank’s case, its Uranus and the North Node, the native may struggle to express these energies without some level of oblivion or resistance.  You can watch any episode of King of the Hill and will be pressed to find any occurrences where Hank is expressing anything Uranian or Piscean. In fact, these less definable energies are often a hindrance to the King of the Hill.

The Neptune of Hank Hill

As I mentioned previously, I had to intercept Pisces for Hank in the 8th House seeing that there is a huge blind spot with the character with psychic and metaphysical themes.  Neptune, of course, is the modern day ruler of the fishes, so I had to place the God of the Seas in a debilitated arena as well.  Naturally, I put Neptune in the rolling Capricorn/6th House Stellium, seeing that these energies swell and dominate the characteristics of Hank Hill.  The dreamy, mystical nature of the Poseidon Archetype is struggling to stay afloat in the vast, cold, hard reality linked with Capricorn and the 6th House.  Neptune is far more comfortable 180 degrees away in the emotional depths of the illusionary 12th House.  Any thought, or day dream that may come across Hank is quickly faced with the sober reality of the Earthly dimensions of Capricorn and the 6th House.  Hank is adverse to substances that provide escape besides a 6 pack of cold ones here and there.  Hank seems to cope with things that are in the physical realm such as home ownership and lawn care to deal with the harsh realities of life. 

Hank has a strong 6th House and enjoys mundane household chores like mowing his lawn.

The Pluto of Hank Hill

Last of the ‘10 Planets,’ but certainly not the least, is the beast known as Pluto– the Lord of the Underworld.  Besides obsessive compulsive tendencies, Hank doesn’t seem to have much neurosis afflicting him.  Therefore I placed Pluto in the 5th House and in Sagittarius. Not only has my thinking went back to the downfall of Hank’s premature sports career, but also with Hank’s restriction to bear children with his “narrow urethra.”  Throughout the series, Hank has been the butt of many jokes and has taken many hits to his manhood.  It was a miracle that Hank was able to produce his son Bobby, but there is much fan speculation, and hints throughout the show that Bill may indeed be the true father of Bobby Hill. The 5th House is also seen as the house of affairs. Hank, while a very dedicated husband, is married to Peggy who has been shown as quite narcissistic throughout the years and may have broken down one night and settled with Bill, not thinking, or possibly caring about the repercussions she may have triggered.

The Chiron of Hank Hill

Now that we have moved through all the Planets in Hank Hill’s natal chart, let’s add some flavor and revisit that 5th House wound we spoke of earlier.  Chiron, symbolic of the Centaur in Greek Mythology, was simultaneously the wounded and the healer. Where we have Chiron in our charts, is the area where we need to heal ourselves so we can help mentor and guide those with a similar abrasion.  As aforementioned, Hank was a star running back in the Texan high school football scene. Hank felt that his showboating led to the physical injury that ended his young career prematurely, squashing his dreams of ever proceeding glory on the gridiron.   Like most TV shows, there was often a lack of continuity on King of the Hill, but several episodes showed Hank coaching the company softball team.  Hank seemed to be a natural athlete, but an injury sidelined him from personal glory. Coaching might have been something that would allow others to flourish on the field, but it might have allowed Hank to come out of his shell and find some of that joy that he lost before he even graduated high school. 

The Nodal Analysis of Hank Hill

Now let’s take a look at the North and South Node’s of the Moon and see what aspect of life Hank Hill is coming from, and where Hank needs to go.  First let’s take a look at the South Node. As I mentioned previously, Hank has an intercepted 8th House which may restrict some of the mystical Piscean energy which lays dormant in the unconscious side of Hank.  Looking 180 degrees across the horoscope, you can see what applies to one side, in fact applies to the 2nd House which intercepts Virgo where his South Node resides.  Rather than having trouble expressing his Virgoan tendencies, having the South Node there tells a different story through a more negative, harmful lens.  The South Node represents our past lives, and how we accumulated karma over many lifetimes and they have become stubborn habits which we fall back onto for comfort.  These traits inherently come natural to us, but these are skills that have been long mastered and we need to exercise the opposite energy in order for soul progression.  

Hank's intercepted 8th House contain Pisces.

Let’s break things down a bit.  The South Node as I said resides in Virgo in the 2nd House. So, I think it's clear to see that Hank has many Virgo tendencies. He clutches onto practicality, and throws anything that can’t be interpreted with our five senses out the window.  I think it’s safe to say that Hank is overly practical.  The 2nd House represents things that we personally value, and ways we make money. Hank is noted many times to be an assistant manager at Strickland Propane, so he earns his coin from a natural gas that comes from the Earth itself.  Hank is obviously passionate about this endeavor, but possibly he needed to dream bigger in this life.  Love and affection might just be one of the most valuable resources that we share with others, and Hank has a lot of animosity when being intimate with those that he loves. Hank feels insecure expressing affection to even his wife. We discussed Hank's Saturn placement and his strained relationship with his father Cotton.

  Throughout the King of the Hill series, Hank was pining for the love and approval of his father Cotton who was a hard-nosed combat veteran from World War II.  Both Cotton and Hank are the archetypical, or perhaps the stereotypical expressions of men.  Men aren’t conditioned to show much emotion, with anger usually being the exception. While it’s becoming less common, historically men who were seen as sensitive or endearing were deemed meek and unreliable.  Men have been associated with the providers for their families.  So it’s easy for men, including a fictional man such as Hank Hill to cling onto these standards which may be harmful not only to his close ones, but Hank himself

Now let’s visit the North Node which is located in 8th House in Intercepted Pisces.  This is where Hank needs to embrace this emotional energy that Cotton oppressed during Hank’s childhood.  While the title of alcoholic might be a bit far fetched, Hank is seen drinking on a regular basis. Throughout the series of King of the Hill, we only saw Hank truly inebriated on the occasion, however alcohol is an unhealthy way many people with Piscean/Neptunian energy cope.  Hank also dismisses, or even outright hates what he doesn’t understand, or things that don’t align with his fragile paradigm.  Hank desperately clings on to his Virgoan South Node and fails to embrace what's metaphysical and enchanting.  Uranus is also conjunct Hank’s North Node and this would suggest even more emphasis on Hank exploring what he deems as incomprehensible. 

That boy ain't right.

 Hank’s Aspects

Hank needs to abandon the rigidity, and should embrace things that are foreign and beyond his limited comprehension.  In the middle of Hank’s encompassing stellium that is fully loaded in the 5th and 6th house lies the Sun.  The Capricornian Sun makes a sextile to the North Node, and by default, a trine to his South Node.  This can be interpreted as this flowing trine that is natural and harmonious, but at the same time proves to be toxic as it enables Hank to cling onto these stubborn Earthy traits.  This is the comfort zone of Hank Hill. However the sextile, which is seen as melodic as his trine, might just need a bit more attention seeing that a sextile consists of agreeable, yet different elements. Since they are of a different sign, unlike the trine, there may be a bit more of an effort for Hank to activate and embrace these changes that we probably won’t see in the series revival.

Jupiter and Neptune are also forming a sextile to Hank’s IC and Saturn conjunction.  As we discussed, this is the father-wound of Hank, stemming from the cold harshness of being raised by the hellacious Cotton Hill.  Both Jupiter and Neptune, the traditional and modern ruler of Pisces respectively, are often associated with escapism and over-indulgence.  Hank is often seen with a can of Alamo Beer in his hand, but Hank grasps onto the physical, tangible side of life as a way not to face these deep metaphysical elements that lay dormant in the proud Texan.  While all these pragmatic skills are beneficial to both Hank and those he gleefully serves, it’s preventing Hank’s spiritual growth.  

Outro

Well, I think that is a good summary of my interpretation of Hank Hill and his natal chart.  Of course this article isn’t an all encompassing look into the King of the Hill.  It’s interesting to see a character that is so bland become so successful, however I think some of the magic of the show is the contrast of the other characters and their interaction with good ol’ predictable Hank.  What would you have made different about Hank’s Chart? Let me know in the comments below! Also be sure to watch the video on Hank Hill’s chart that I made and subscribe to my Youtube channel. Thanks for reading.