The Astrology of Ghosting Yourself: Avoidant Personality Disorder in the Natal Chart

With astrology being so vast, my mind spins at all the opportunities to tie it into other fields of interest.  As much as I would love to spend my days making correlations, Father Time will always remain undefeated. In this article, I’m going to dip my toe into the frigid waters of neurodivergence.  Throughout my life, Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD)  has proved to be a great hindrance.  This debilitating disorder has left me crippled socially for a large portion of my life.  Due to the stigma of better-known Cluster B disorders, living with a personality disorder presents its challenges.

Isolation

Those who struggle with Cluster B Personality Disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder or Anti-social Personality Disorder, often grow to victimize others.  This brings attention from psychologists and researchers who devote more time and resources to study these disorders.  Social scientists are not fully to blame here.  Those afflicted with AvPD have a deep reluctance to speak up. This combination leads to AvPD being largely mysterious and misunderstood.  Due to the lack of charts of others with AvPD, today I will analyze my own chart to see what placements demonstrate traits of my AvPD.

If you live with AvPD and are curious about your chart, you can reach out here to explore what astrology may reveal about your patterns.

What is Avoidant Personality Disorder

AvPD is derived from fear and anxiety, therefore it is linked with other Cluster C personality disorders such as Dependent and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorders.  The direct cause of any personality remains unknown, however personality disorders are often linked to neglect, abuse, and trauma. This is especially true for AvPD.  Dredged with fear, those with AvPD often isolate themselves.  Stemming from environments of shame and ridicule,  victims of this disorder show strong reluctance to display vulnerability.

Without intervention, our self-imposed prison sentence continues.  Lacking connection, social skills wane and neurosis thrives.  Research suggests early childhood adversities such as trauma and neglect stunts brain development, leaving those who were traumatized with toddler-like brain development in many respects.  Many are left feeling hopeless; however Evolutionary Astrology provides a different take.

Practitioners of Evolutionary Astrology often center belief around turning pain into purpose.  Stemming from Vedic origins, Evolutionary Astrology centers around concepts of reincarnation.  We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Our souls are plunged into a realm of suffering and ego to dissolve obstacles hindering soul-growth. 

With human experience comes free will.  Human beings autonomously choose stagnating comfort, or face transformational growth.  Pluto is the harbinger of change, the conduit of transformation.  Let’s see how Pluto tangles with my Avoidant Personality Disorder.

Pluto Conjunct the Ascendant

Pluto forming a conjunction with the Ascendant is a damning combination.  Your Rising Sign represents how the world perceives you, and Pluto adds an element of internal intensity.  Pluto, or Hades in Greek Mythology, bore the Helm of Invisibility. This enchanted item allowed the Lord of the Underworld to galivant unseen throughout the realms.  Having Pluto Rising myself, this predicts the need to remain unveiled.  The First house marks beginnings in various contexts,  including infancy.  Pluto is often a marker of trauma and with it rising, this frequently means early on.

Pluto Rising forming a conjunction on the Ascendant.

Though uncompromising, Pluto isn’t an archetype of vengeance.  Pluto presents challenges that would quake the strongest souls.  These trials and tribulations serve the purpose of running the soul through the wringer in order to purge.  Transformation is a crucial theme for Pluto.  Your soul will be pushed to limits previously unimagined,  stretching you mentally and emotionally thin and over-extended.  If the lessons are taken with stride, you will come out stronger and your resilience will be unmatched.

Saturn in the 1st House

Saturn is the defining planet of isolation and restriction, and I just happen to have it in the 1st House in Scorpio. Again, themes of early obstacles and delays ring true.  The 1st House is your personality, how people see you superficially.  Along with Pluto, Saturn in the 1st House can be quite burdensome.  This presents challenges of emoting yourself to the world.  Saturn in the 1st is like a semi-truck parked on your foot. You’re stuck with nowhere to go. 

Scorpio here only echoes the sentiments of pain and suffering.  This combination presents a heavy feeling of nihilism and despair.  Scorpio is the deep dark emotions we keep repressed within the furthest recesses of our soul, and Saturn is the impenetrable block wall.  This creates a deep-seated fear of self expression and showing vulnerability. Which of course are building blocks of forming relationships.

With this placement, astrologers often find that relief starts to surface around midlife. 

Saturn sits in my 1st House in Scorpio. This causes me shame and feeling less than others.

Natives with Saturn inhabiting the 1st house are the  quintessential “late bloomers.”  Early life with this placement can feel like a prolonged doldrum, akin to a lengthy prison sentence.  Only through hard-earned lessons is when the seeds of Saturn begin to sprout.  These trials inevitably bring wisdom and growth. Saturn represents the area that you need to master, and when it’s in the 1st House that means self mastery.  It’s said once established, those with this placement can do anything. In the meantime however, the ball is in Saturn’s court. 

Moon in Gemini 8th House

At a surface-level, a Gemini Moon is a strong predictor of a need for trivial chit chat.  However the layering of the 8th House substantially increases necessity for emotional depth and intellectual stimulation.  The catch being that the 8th House is guilty of inverting the energy of its tenants.  While superficially extraverted, the 8th House drastically mutes the joviality of Gemini.  There exists a desperate need for mental stimulation, yet you’re  left with the muting effects of the dreary nature of the House of Death.

Gemini is a mutable restless sign, and as the Moon passes through, it creates large fluctuations of mood.  Like other personality disorders, AvPD often is packaged with poor emotional regulation.  The energetic exchange between the Moon and Gemini encompasses a whirlwind of feelings . With Gemini’s rational tendencies, the Moon here often seeks logical explanations for personal feelings.  This leads to overthinking and looping potential scenarios internally, creating a vat of anxiety. With your head spinning, making sense of the emotional undercurrents of the Moon sends you in a tailspin.  People often seek validation before going into solution mode.  People may approach seeking emotional validation, only to encounter cold, hard rationality.  

At a surface-level, a Gemini Moon is a strong predictor of a need for trivial chit chat.  However the layering of the 8th House substantially increases necessity for emotional depth and intellectual stimulation.  The catch being that the 8th House is guilty of inverting the energy of its tenants.  While superficially extraverted, the 8th House drastically mutes the joviality of Gemini.  There exists a desperate need for mental stimulation, yet you’re  left with the muting effects of the dreary nature of the House of Death.

A Moon in Gemini in the 8th House can cause a lot of emotional fluctuation of deep dark moods.

Gemini is a mutable restless sign, and as the Moon passes through, it creates large fluctuations of mood.  Like other personality disorders, AvPD often is packaged with poor emotional regulation.  The energetic exchange between the Moon and Gemini encompasses a whirlwind of feelings . With Gemini’s rational tendencies, the Moon here often seeks logical explanations for personal feelings.  This leads to overthinking and looping potential scenarios internally, creating a vat of anxiety. With your head spinning, making sense of the emotional undercurrents of the Moon sends you in a tailspin.  People often seek validation before going into solution mode.  People may approach seeking emotional validation, only to encounter cold, hard rationality.  

Sagittarius South Node

Chances are, if you have AvPD in this life, the same potentially could be true for past incarnations.  The South Node not only demonstrates deeply ingrained tendencies that create stagnation,  It indicates karmic accumulation of toxic habits that follow us through rebirth.  Negatively speaking, Sagittarius is about dogmas, and rigid idealism.  Stubborn philosophies that we defend to death. With the addition of the personal values of the 2nd house, outcomes of obstinacy and defiance towards shared beliefs of others.  

With a South Node in Sagittarius in the 2nd House, this causes one to value different things than others causing isolation

The 2nd House also represents self-esteem, whether an abundance or lack thereof.  When considering the South Node, typically it needs to be viewed with negative connotations. Perhaps one with a South Node such as mine might be overly-certain of their beliefs.  Yet

when comparing themselves to their peers, confidence might be lackluster.  Personal morals tend to be so dogmatic, that the native with a Sagittarius South Node is often ostracized for extreme rigidity.  Others however impose self-isolation due to thoughts of superiority.  For myself, there has been a complicated mixture of both attitudes throughout my life. 

Sitting on their high horse, one begins to see how lonely it is at top. Especially seeing that the “top” is often the bottom of the social barrel.  With South Node tendencies remaining unconscious until later in life, the reclusiveness, whether self-imposed or not, tends to become a place of both comfort and frustration.  Trapped within their own thoughts and traditions, social skills stagnate, and opportunities for emotional and social attachments wither.

Do you struggle with AvPD?  Unsurprisingly, those afflicted with this disorder are often reluctant to share.  Hopefully, you’re realizing that withholding creates more stagnation.  You might seek answers, but the thought of expressing vulnerability is crippling.  I feel you, decades passed me by with an identical mindset.  Please consider reaching out if you struggle with AvPD and would like me to analyze your chart. Thanks for reading!